Break Even
by Tempeck2
Summary: Right after the plane blows up, what did Neal do, and was Peter there for him after the horrid event. Songfic, All credit goes to White Collar and The Script. Song: Break Even


_This is my first White Collar Fanfic, but I really kind of love it. Another Songfic. Thanks for reading. Bye!_

Neal Caffery, con-artist, criminal, consult, friend. All words that could be used to describe him. One may also use words such as smooth, romantic, or charming, because that's what he is, better yet, that's who he is... but not today.

Because today, Neal Caffery did something he never thought he would have to do. Today he had to watch his girlfriend die.

His love, his life, the object of his women he broke out of prison for. His Kate. And now she's gone.

What happened went so fast, he was there, he was walking right toward her. He could see her in the plane and then all of the sudden Peter was there, but Neal didn't care.

It was Kate!

She was there, in the flesh!

But Peter wanted to stop and talk, what a rotten moment to want to chit-chat. Neal was seconds away from being with the girl he had been searching for, for what seemed like forever!

Peter questioned Neal, 'Why didn't he say goodbye to him?'

'Why?' Neal thinks; you know why Peter. Because you're the only person that could make Neal change his mind. Peter was right, however, he did give Neal a second chance, to get things right. But wasn't this it? After everything Neal had done, helping people, saving things. Wasn't this his reward? To spend the rest of his life with the women he loved, where no one could ever find them.

Neal was moving toward the plane again. He had given Peter his consult badge and thanked him.

All of his focus was on Kate. She was looking at him through the window. Then Peter asks if he had changed Neal's mind. ' I don't have time for this!' Neal thinks.

But he feels the need to explain things to Peter, "Peter I-"

After that, Neal can only remember patches of what happened. The sheer force of the explosion that pushed him forward, Peter's strong grip on him as he fought and screamed to get to Kate. At some point, Peter's team, the fire department, an ambulance, and many other people that Neal didn't know, showed up.

They asked him questions and expected answers, but Neal didn't say a thing. It was like, the explosion didn't only take Kate away, but also his ability to speak. Luckily, Peter got Neal out of there as fast as he could.

After an eerily silent trip to the Bureau, a bunch of unanswered questions, and a lot of favor pulling on Peter's part, Neal was finally on his way home.

Neal was tired, he was so tired, and sad, and alone, and he was so out of it that he didn't even notice that Peter had taken him outside of the city limits. He didn't even begin to comprehend where they were until the car came to a stop, and Peter was at eye-level with him, outside of his open car door, Peter was talking to him in a oddly gentle and calm tone.

"Neal? Hey buddy, we're at my house. You're gonna stay here tonight, okay?" Peter spoke in a tone that he had never used with Neal before. Neal nodded ever so slightly in response and with a bit of Peter's help, got from the car and into Peter's house.

Peter quickly got Neal situated in the first floor guest bedroom, and after a lot of coaxing and gentleness, Peter got Neal to put on a pair of some old clothes that Peter had lying around.

Peter left Neal to get changed as he headed to the kitchen and wondered for the first time since he and Neal got home, where his wife was. Peter walked into the kitchen and found a note on the refrigerator door that read:

"Honey,

I have a late meeting in the city. I'll be back around 11. Casserole is in the oven. I love you. - El"

Peter breathed in deeply and then sighed just as deep. El wouldn't be home till 11? That was like a whole 45 minutes away. Didn't she know how bad Peter was at consoling people in these situations?

Peter thought about having the casserole with Neal, but decided against it and made soup instead. He brought the soup to the guest bedroom and found Neal in Peter's old clothes, sitting on the bed with Peter's old guitar beside him.

Peter smiled in spite of himself at the sight of his friend sitting with his legs up to his chest and his tousled head of hair resting on his knees. With the clothes that Peter had given to him, Neal looked like a little kid in clothes that were clearly a to big for him.

Peter came and sat next to Neal in a chair that was by the bed. He was a little worried when Neal didn't move an inch when Peter sat down, but Peter figured that if what happened to Neal today ever happened to Peter... Well, Peter wouldn't want company either.

"Hey, i made you some soup. You feel like eating any?" Peter asked Neal gently. He wastched Neal carefully for a response. Upon recieving none Peter said, "Neal, come on now, you've got to eat something."

At this, Peter received a small shake of the head form Neal, signifying that he wasn't hungry.

"Ok." Peter says, "But it'll be right here when you want to eat." Peter places the bowl of soup behind him on a desk that is in the room.

He watches Neal silently for a few seconds and then glances around the room aimlessly. His eyes fall on his old guitar that he hadn't played in years. Obviously, Neal had found it while he was changing and brought it out for some reason. Peter did wonder how Neal knew it was in this closet. Peter was almost positive that his guitar was in the attic, but he just past it in thought.

Peter looked from Neal to the guitar and back again. Then he made the connection. "Neal?" Peter asked, "Do you know how to play the guitar?"

Peter hadn't really expected an answer, but to his surprise, Neal moved his head slightly so he could see Peter and he nodded to the positivity of that question.

"Hmm. I wonder if this thing is in tune?" Peter asks aloud, more to fill the silence then to actually get an answer. But again to his surprise, Neal answers but this time he uses words. Which Peter is grateful for since this is the first time in all of knowing Neal, that his friend had been so silent for such a long period of time.

"It is." Neal crocks from under use of his voice. He clears his throat and then continues. "Sometimes when your at work and I'm not needed to come in, I come over here to talk with El and test food and stuff. She brought it out one time while Mozzie and I were both here and I played it for her."

Peter nods at this, not entirely surprised that Neal had that kind of relationship with his wife.

"So that's how you knew it was in the closet." Peter says; just happy that Neal was talking again. Neal nodded but then put his head back down to rest on his knees.

Peter quietly sighs and looks back at the guitar. That's when an idea strikes him. "Do you... do you want to play something?" Peter asks.

He thinks that Neal will turn him down and probably not talk for the rest of the night, but once again Neal surprises the seasoned FBI agent and nods his head in the positive affirmation of the question.

Peter smiles slightly and grabs the guitar, he backs up a little so Neal can move his legs to a dangling position off the side of the bed. Neal does so and accepts the guitar when Peter hands it to him.

"When'd you learn how to play?" Peter asks as Neal warms up the guitar and tuns the notes a little.

"When I was a kid, my parents used to fight a lot. My brother was already out of the house and I found that no matter how high you crank up the music on your radio, it never really drowns out the sound of the yelling. So everyday after school, when I'd get home and get tired of listening to my parents fighting. I would go down to our soundproof basement and practice whatever instrument I could find." Neal explains to Peter.

Peter nodded in understanding knowing that Neal's parents got divorced when he was 12 and that Neal's father was an unofficial a lot of things, including music teacher that would teach people to play instruments for interesting sums of money. Hence the many instruments at Neal's childhood home.

Peter had no trouble guessing where Neal got his con-artistry from.

"So what's you favorite song?" Peter asks hoping that playing the guitar would get Neal's mind off of all the problems at hand.

Peter was really only staling until Elizabeth came home because he knew that to Neal, El was like an older sister or a mother figure, and Peter was running out of things to talk to Neal about that wouldn't remind him of what happened today. Wanting to avoid having to say 'cowboy up' to the emotionally distressed young man, was high on Peter's priority list.

Only about 10 minutes and El would be home.

"My favorite song?" Neal says as a ghost of a smile appears on his face. "Probably..." Neal trails off and strums a chord on the guitar.

He closes his eyes and starts to sing:

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,

Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in.

Cos I got time while she got freedom,

Cos when a heat breaks no it don't break even."

"Her best days will be some of my worst,

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first.

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping,

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no."

"What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?

And what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok?

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces."

Peter didn't us the word often, but he had to admit, that was beautiful. He had Neal sing before, but the last time he was in some what of a drunken drugged up stupor.

He watched Neal intently and he almost didn't notice them but he eventually saw the inevitable tears fall from Neal's eyes, but they were still closed and Neal was still singing seemingly unfazed by the little droplets of water on his guitar.

"They say bad things happen for a reason,

But no wise words are gonna stop the bleeding.

Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving,

And when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no."

"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

And what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're okay?

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces."

Peter unconsciously moved his hand to Neal's back rubbing circles on him trying to provide support. Neither of the men noticed Elizabeth Burke standing in the door watching as tears ran down her cheeks.

"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,

Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in.

Cos I got time while she got freedom,

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break

No it don't break

No it don't break even no!"

"What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're okay?

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces."

Neal becomes silent and strums the last few chords on the guitar. By now El had moved to sit next to Neal on the bed and Peter was still rubbing circles on his back.

Neal laid the guitar down gently on the bed behind him. El could see the tears running down Neal's face. She very easily slipped into a hugging position with Neal and rocked him back and forth, like any mother would to try and take their baby's pain away.

And that is how the Burke's stayed until Neal cried himself to sleep. Both Elizabeth and Peter knew that they were in for a lot of this with Neal because of what had happened today, but they were okay with that.

Because they were Neal's friends, his family, and they were gonna make all the pain go away.

Because as everyone knows, when a heart breaks it never breaks even.

-fin-


End file.
